July 20, 2010
I’ve decided to bring back “Fluffy Animal Tuesdays”! In this week’s edition I present to you the 2 most terrified dogs on the planet:
I actually think "Sharkbait" would be a very good name for a dog.
The worst part for you is that the dog pees on you the whole time. The worst part for the dog is they have no comprehension of parachutes, so for him, it's all over.
February 28, 2010
Why hello Parker!
Welcome. It’s good to have you! I’m sorry we haven’t been seeing enough of each other lately. I talk about it all the time – the places we could go, the adventures we could have. Yeah, we’re talking the talk, but not walking the walk. Ugh, you know how it is… working all day can just make me so tired at night. I come home, eat some food, watch some olympics, and then go to bed. My life in a nutshell!
Anyhow, I should probably save my breath. I know the only thing you’re hearing is PARKER GOOD GO WALK FOOD GO BED, but, thanks for listening.
Love,
Mom
(Parker)
February 27, 2010
I really appreciate the effort National Geographic has spent in recent years making their programming absolutely crazy. The current line up includes:
The last one really caught my attention. Animal abusers should watch out. Because it might not be some sissy animal-control officer knocking at your door – it might be these guys:
These guys will kick your ass if you even think about abusing an animal
Then, after a tough days ass-kicking, cuddling ensues:
How could it not?
What two opposite things will the network juxtapose next? Metrosexual firefighters? Stocktrading farmers? Beautiful women who work in waste removal by day and date ugly guys at night? Whatever it is, I’m sure it will be magic.
Oh, and hilarious.
December 5, 2009
I had a post all written and ready-to-go this morning, but then I watched this. Enjoy:
Like me you might be asking yourself – what are all these cats doing there? But then I realized that if I was a stray cat I too would frequent the field with the free, fresh, HUMONGOUS fish in it. I think they could make this show with people and donuts and it would work too.
Speaking of which, I’m off to get some donuts…
November 25, 2009
1 – Never let your dog roll around in a leaf pile. Even if it’s really really cute.
Why? Because it turns out there’s poop in that leaf pile. That’s why your dog wants to roll in it.
2 – Dogs hate baths. Even when they’re covered in poop.
Especially when they’re covered in poop.
September 19, 2009
Just in case you don’t spend your time watching dogs chase laser pointers:
June 10, 2009
Last week we had a dog trainer come over to work with the dog. Contrary to my preconceptions there was no whispering involved, and the trainer wasn’t even an illegal alien (how bogus). We had called her up after Parker unsuccessfully tried to bite some strangers (but who cares about strangers?) and then finally successfully bit a friend.
It turns out what we needed to do to get the dog to stop biting people was tie her to the couch. Now whenever people are over we tie Parker to the couch leg and guests are supposed to intermittently throw treats at her. Now, I’m no puppy, but this sounds like a pretty sweet gig even to me. In the end it’s supposed to make her happy about people being over instead of fearful. Or maybe it’s just supposed to fatten her up to the point where she’s no longer a real threat to anyone.
Oh no, you're dog is having issues? Ahh I see why -- it's because your dog is a wolf
June 3, 2009
I said 300 bones, not 300 dollars!
May 31, 2009
Yesterday I complained about parents who dress their twins the same. Today I discovered something worse: parents who dress their kids like their dogs.
Did they punch that boy in the face?
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